Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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