seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
