dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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