spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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