I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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