i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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