check it out our google latitudes are spooning
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
