Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
