and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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