She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
