My first STD was from a foam party
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize