Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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