I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
