my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
