I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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