need another drink. this is the easiest way
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
So squirting runs in the family.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
