So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
