She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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