He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
it's like heaven, but drunker
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Randomize
