All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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