I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
