i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize