dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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