Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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