Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
handjob tips. give me some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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