You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
