She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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