her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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