He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize