i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
