dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
