Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
