Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
