Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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