that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Randomize
