is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
