Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
