I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
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