Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
