We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
