I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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