if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
she was so not down for the gang bang
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
