I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
