Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
the raccoons are back...
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