the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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