margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.