Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(323): View more from California

that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.

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(305): View more from Florida

nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night

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(316): View more from Kansas

its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse

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27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
Read it at the TFLN blog
(940): View more from Texas

Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.

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(210): View more from Texas

I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...

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(773): View more from Illinois

while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"

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(212): View more from New York

Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?

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(831): View more from California

if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.

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