Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(702): View more from Nevada

I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever

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(301): View more from Maryland

I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.

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(662): View more from Mississippi

Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning

(780): View more from Alberta, CA

I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk

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(317): View more from Indiana

I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.

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These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Read it at the TFLN blog
(512): View more from Texas

I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have

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(646): View more from New York

So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.

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(407): View more from Florida

We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.

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