It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
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I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
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i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.