Texts From Last Night

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  (810): View more from Michigan

  Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!

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  (810): Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now! http://tfl.nu/8f67
  Replies (1) Good night (851) Bad night (1023)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.

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  (740): Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell. http://tfl.nu/hc6j
  Replies (17) Good night (2650) Bad night (1313)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.

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  (630): I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting. http://tfl.nu/uotz
  Replies (10) Good night (4699) Bad night (672)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.

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  (404): She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more. http://tfl.nu/sgvu
  Replies (12) Good night (4806) Bad night (1367)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.

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  (203): The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this. http://tfl.nu/mzic
  Replies (6) Good night (847) Bad night (4346)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how

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  (954): i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how http://tfl.nu/jixl
  Replies (15) Good night (1006) Bad night (3556)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now

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  (267): We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now http://tfl.nu/1wl1
  Replies (29) Good night (5264) Bad night (1510)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.

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  (316): If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already. http://tfl.nu/vt4q
  Replies (13) Good night (2853) Bad night (987)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...

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  (406): apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone... http://tfl.nu/2d2g
  Replies (12) Good night (4624) Bad night (1114)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  She swung at the pinata with crutches

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  (440): She swung at the pinata with crutches http://tfl.nu/dkgf
  Replies (4) Good night (1799) Bad night (1285)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  There are so many Jimmy John's employees here

  (1-512): View more from Texas

  Where are you?

  (512): View more from Texas

  Jimmy John's.

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  (512): There are so many Jimmy John's employees here (1-512): Where are you? (512): Jimmy John's. http://tfl.nu/2l3c
  Replies (10) Good night (5769) Bad night (832)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same

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  (614): now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same http://tfl.nu/zf1b
  Replies (6) Good night (481) Bad night (1087)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you

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  (636): I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you http://tfl.nu/1ybh
  Replies (5) Good night (973) Bad night (329)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.

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  (601): I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank. http://tfl.nu/0dya
  Replies (1) Good night (543) Bad night (223)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.

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  (309): I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong. http://tfl.nu/hvs3
  Replies (2) Good night (505) Bad night (244)

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