let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
She's the barista slut.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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