i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
