I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize