I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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