Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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