I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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