the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
one might say we're banned from that church
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
