Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
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