I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Randomize
