Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
This house was built for laser tag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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