he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
