I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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