Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
