I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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