Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
