Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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